I'm At A Pay Phone
by imdftmyba
Summary: Before they became BTR, Four best friends lived in Minnesota, one of them was Kendall Knight who'd always felt the pressure to be as good a man as his father had been. Some times he doesn't quite achieve this. Sometimes things just don't go his way.


I've had this saved for a little while. Working on the other chapters for the other stories, but this just popped into my head and I had to write it. Losely based around the song Payphone by Maroon 5.

I own nothing.

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Minnesota is unforgiving in the winter. The harsh winds, the never ending snow storms, and the minus temperatures that make people shiver under layers of clothing. It made the people of the fine state joyful for the spring and summer months. When the snow would melt and the sun would shine down on all of them. Where t-shirts could be worn on their own and where there was no need for multiple layers. Summer being the months of year where everything was just that little bit easier. Sure, the heat made most lazy, but, it didn't make most people want to curl up into a ball and just wish for it to go away. Winter, like summer wasn't a time of year people liked to work. For most families the cold winter months drew people together. Gathering in the warmest of rooms with hot cocoa and tales of past days. Basically going back to the days when entire villages would gather round a single fire and tell one another stories, simply because no one could write, because there was nothing else to do. Twenty-first century was a time where families were seemingly less close, where the internet and the fact people were so well connected that in fact people are said to be more distant than ever. Miscommunications, and reclusiveness occurred in almost every family.

Minnesota is just another state, which is in just another country, which is in just another part of the world. It is no different than it's Canadian neighbours, or the states that surround it. But Minnesota is where our story begins, which makes it very important. Where just like everywhere else the winter is cold, where the people have real problems and no amount of running can change this. In a small suburb outside St. Paul, the capitol of the state, families lived in modest sized houses and what went on in the home stayed secret behind closed doors. It was polite neighbourhood, low in crime, lots of kids, the kind of place that was the white picket fence hallmark of the American Dream. It didn't matter who you were in this area, as long as you could be polite outside the home, and didn't mention much about the home things were just fine. Accepting of all sizes and types of family. The world a much fairer place in this simple suburb. However, behind the smiles, the simple hello's are the truths and difficulties of teenage life. Of growing up and becoming a person, separate from the rest but still part of the overall fold. The adults would be blinded by their issues, forgetting that children are the simplest to mold. They are the people who carry the issues when others have long since left them behind.

It's why High School, the best years, are often felt like the worst. The realization that the world isn't as perfect as you were once told. Life shattering heartbreaks, horrifying words destroying what little self esteem, the laughs, the jeering. Feeling like when your heartbreaks, the world just stops. The feeling that no matter what you do, the world just always knocks you back down. In the same respect, for those who have all the friends, all the apparent luck, and instead of jeering have cheering, are just as likely to have the same problems. In the local High School, four sophomores were walking the halls of the school, basking in the celebration of another victory. Their hockey team being the best in the state, and the four sophomores being the star players of the team. A nerd, a hyperactive, a beauty king, and a jock. All four polar opposites in many respects, but the closest of friends. Having the kind of friendship people always wished for. Brothers of the ice, and brothers in every other respect. However that didn't stop them from having secrets from one another. The nerd and previous Texan never really talking of his days before Minnesota, the beauty king never saying who never won when it came to arguing with his mother, the hyperactive never saying how it felt to be an idiot in the eyes of everyone and treated thusly, the jock never ever talking about his father death and his subsequent accession to man of the household. All of keeping a little thing from each other, though all having an idea about the others.

Winter was a particularly difficult for the jock and youngest of the four, Kendall Donald Knight. Tall, lanky, blonde with bright green eyes. Strong, confident, a leader. The unofficial leader of his three friends. The one to keep them all together when times got tough. The time when James had called Logan a nerd, and Kendall had to be the one to tell James that it was hurtful, and let Logan vent to him about it. The shoulder for James to cry on when his parents split. For when Carlos' dog died. For whenever Logan just felt inadequate he was the one to remind him that he was a perfect human, and those people who said bad things about him, were stupid. Kendall had always been the strong one, but winter was when at times his entire body couldn't quite take it. When he'd been seven years old, his father had died during a hockey game. He'd played hockey with the small regional team, bringing it victory after victory. His father had been glorified, the perfect man, husband, father. That it was terrible that such a great man had been lost.

Kendall Knight had felt like it would be his duty to become the man of the household, to fill the void his father had left. There was the constant thought of being nothing like his father. Of not doing a good enough job. Of not being a good enough player at hockey. Of not being good enough in school. Of not providing enough. Which explained the many times that Kendall had spent all night on the ice practicing, improving, and become the star and up and coming hockey player. Why he had a job, why he was sure to spend time with his sister, doing fatherly like things with her. Helping out his mom whenever he could. Why he worked into the early on hours studying. In the same way that when he went to any of his friends houses he always gave a little hand. It was in his nature. He wanted to be perfect, and he worked hard to be that.

Winter was the reminder that no matter how hard he tried he would never be as good as his father had been. That he would always be the son, lesser. Of course, this was he kept most secret. He couldn't tell people. He thought they'd find it childish. He could also see in their eyes, they all thought he was nothing like his father. Not as good as him. It was why, though their victory was being celebrated by all, Kendall couldn't help but find smiling hard. However he high-fived people, cheered along with others and acted like the man of the hour. His three best friends by his side. It was at lunch that the three friends noticed more than usual that Kendall didn't seem so happy. The three of them were ecstatic about their victory. Their friend didn't seem so pleased about the victory.

"Hey Ken, you okay?" Carlos asked, being the first to notice that his friend really did seem off. They all didn't really remember Kendall's dad. They heard stories about him, they heard Kendall tell his sister stories about him when they stayed over at the Knight's household. They all half saw Kendall's dad as a superhuman being. It was the way that Kendall talked of him, the way Kendall painted his father. They knew that the time around his father's death, Kendall acted a little more removed than usual, but never like this. Kendall had been sitting with his friends who'd been talking excitedly about the game from the night before. Unlike most other times Kendall had just stared out the window as the second large snow fall of the winter engulfed the world in white. He snapped out as his friends spoke to him. He looked round at them, seemingly suddenly aware he wasn't alone.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I should go. Cover me in my class." With those words, Kendall stood up and walked away, taking his bag with him. It was only lunch, but Kendall couldn't take it, and he knew his friends would cover for him. Say he had a dentist appointment so they wouldn't look into him not being in class. He didn't actually have anything to do. He just wanted to get away for a while, get out of school. Of the pressure. The only way he could think of doing this was by just walking out. Leaving three curious best friends behind.

As soon as he'd left the area of the school, he went to his work. Not the first place a person thinks of going once they'd broken out of school, but he had work later that afternoon anyway, so he just figured that he could just get started earlier than usual. No one would know any different, and his boss wouldn't care. In fact he'd probably be happy. Snow, made people buy more food, stock up. They'd leave shopping carts everywhere, and with very few workers willing to do that job it tended to mean he needed Kendall more than he'd ever want to admit to. Kendall Knight wasn't going to say he'd skipped school, he would just turn up and deal with it then, deal with any questions then.

As he'd thought, his boss had been very happy to see him. A snow storm was set to arrive in the next few days, and people were as ever panic buying. Those that knew it was coming and generally got panicked about things were the ones who bought, and left the carts everywhere. His boss had not asked any questions, just given Kendall his apron and badge and told him to get to work. Kendall had gladly taken the two and walked away to do his pointless job. The snow fell around him, his work distracting his mind from his worries. From the thoughts of his father. From the thoughts of not being good enough. From his thoughts of just waiting for his friends to realise that he wasn't good enough just leave him. He sighed as he worked. The work was so trivial that the minutes passed slowly, but his mind was distracted enough that it was blank. He didn't even think about the consequences of his actions, of what skipping school could do to his almost perfect record. This wasn't the first time he'd skipped school, and it wouldn't be the last, but it was the first time he hadn't felt a little bad about it. While he was a jock and it was half expected of him, he had always loved the way Logan would excited about school. He'd always wished that one morning he'd wake up and he'd feel the same way.

As the hours passed, and the store began to close up for the night, Kendall Knight's nose was red, his cheek weather beaten, he was almost shaking from the cold that had slowly crept into him, through his clothes. It was nearing ten at night, he'd not spoken to his friends since midday. He hadn't said a word to anyone since arriving at work. He was just happy to be going home now. He got his boss to sign him out of work, and he left. Clutching the jacket closed as the snow began to fall again. It had stopped briefly, and now was back as relentless as before. Kendall hoped his mother had remembered to have the house stocked up. Kendall lived far from the store, and with the busses stopping at 9pm on nights like that one he was left with the option of walking. Who could he call? His mother would only just be back from work, his sister couldn't drive. Logan had learners permit but needed an adult. James and Carlos also couldn't drive. There was no other option.

The teen did not get far however. He'd been about to cross the road, when a black SUV stopped abruptly right in front of him. Startled, Kendall took a few steps back just as the door flew open and the team from the night before got out, the team that had lost to Kendall's team. Kendall suddenly found himself surrounded by large seniors from the other Hockey team. He was too tired to be bothered with this. He didn't want to fight, he hated fighting. He couldn't afford it, he had to be the perfect friend, brother, son. The only reason he'd fight was to defend others. It was times like that when he got really mad that Kendall felt horrible. He didn't like feeling like that, but he did. The team captain stood directly in front of him, giving him a light shove so he fell into one of the other team members who quickly grabbed his arms and held them in place so he couldn't swing at the guy. Kendall struggled, hating every second of this, but he still struggled, feeling it stupid if he didn't.

"Knight, what a surprise? Where's that team of yours now?" The team captain said, his words slurring slightly, the smell of Russian standard vodka clear on his breath. With the end of each sentence a fist punching Kendall hard in the gut. Kendall had to let out a groan in pain as the second punch landed, doubling over slightly as pain erupted in his body, but the guy holding his arms had a firm grip on him. Keeping him as upright as possible. Kendall looked up at the captain with his light green eyes, he saw the guy nod slightly, before the blonde fell to the ground, barely having any time to use his hands to break the fall. The ground was hard, and cold. Kendall couldn't believe that this was his luck currently. As he began to push himself up from the ground, as one of the team members threw a bucket of ice cold water all over him. Now, Kendall was mad. He knew that getting mad was bad, and he rarely did it for himself, but this would be the exception. He was cold, wet and sore. Screw acting normally. Screw acting calmly.

"You're pathetic Knight," The captain said, as his teammates laughed at the blonde lying on the ground. Kendall slowly pushed himself up and got to his feet. As the team smiled at him maliciously he lunged at the captain. All hell broke loose within seconds of this action.

As Kendall began to get the upper hand on the drunken captain, the other team members pounced on him, and very quickly managed to over power him. Kendall was tired, and overall weaker than several huge guys. They were a lot bigger than Kendall, and they hadn't just worked eight plus hours in the cold. He quickly found himself lying facedown on the snow as the punches and kicks rained down. His clothes were soaked, and as the pain escalating with each hit, he couldn't help but think he deserve it. He was a pathetic excuse of a Knight. His father would've been able to fight back. His father, that perfect man that he just wanted to be like, would've been able to take on the guys currently beating him. However, after a few seconds Kendall began to blackout. He felt someone pull him up off the ground. Being placed into something moving and then he didn't know anything else.

Being launched from anything was enough to wake the deepest sleeper, or anyone who was passed out. Kendall awoke as his body hit the ground hard. He heard laughing and jeering from somewhere, calling him pathetic. Saying that he was good for nothing, that they couldn't believe he was a Knight. Kendall didn't really register what was going on. He just opened his eyes, and was greeted with the sight of snow falling down onto him. The paleness of the snow, making the night glow. Pain erupted from every corner of the teen's body. He could feel that he was getting a black eye, he could feel the cut on his lip. He could feel the way his ribs hurt as he breathed. Slowly, the teen pushed himself up so he was sitting. His clothes were damp, he was cold. He was tired, he just wanted to go home. He looked around him, and realised he was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Kendall groaned loudly, before getting to his feet. Fishing his phone out of pocket, he stared at the cracked screen, and barely working phone. In frustration Kendall through his phone and just cried out. He yelled to the sky above him.

"I get it! I GET IT!" He screamed staring up at the clouded over sky. "I'll never be as good as him. I just want to go home! I just want this day to end." His voice broke as he continued speaking. Kendall just really missed his dad. He loved his sister, and his mother and his all his friends, but he missed his dad more than he ever said. He just wanted to go home, he wanted to crawl into his bed and fall asleep. He wanted his father to sit with him and tell him about his rebellious teen years. Stories of things that Kendall would always wish to do, but knew he couldn't. He missed being looked after. His mother still babied him, sure but it wasn't quite the same. Knowing that standing in the cold would get him nowhere, he began walking in the direction of the city. Hoping that he could eventually get home. That he'd find his way back.

After walking for close to an hour, a blue light attracted his attention. It was the first light he'd seen that wasn't orange and a street light. There was pavement and a few houses, so Kendall knew he wasn't too far from the city. Not to far from home. He smiled ever so slightly, a little victory in this atrocious day. Kendall was so very cold, his entire body was shivering and shaking and all he could think of was Logan telling him he'd probably develop a cold if he didn't get in some dry clothes soon. As Kendall neared, he realised that it was a payphone. Kendall knew this was the best way of getting in contact with someone who could help him out. Kendall stood in front of the phone for a few second before taking out what little money he had.

After a few failed attempts at using the phone, he finally was able to dial a number and heard the other side ring. It rung, and rung and no one picked. Kendall groaned. He didn't have that much money on him. He only had a certain amount of tries. He did try again, dialed a number and waited for someone to picked up. After no one picked up the second time, Kendall groaned loudly. He felt like crying. Kendall Knight never felt like crying. He didn't like being weak, and crying made him look weak. He hung up the phone and stood in silence. He decided he had to try a different number. He just hoped that this time around someone would pick up. He dialed and waited.

"Please pick up, please" Kendall muttered to the ringing. "Come on, pick up. Please pick up."

"Hello?" A tired voice sounded from the other end of the phone. Kendall sighed happily. He was so pleased, that someone had picked up. That despite how he always was, he could trust his friends to be their.

"Logan? It's Kendall. You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice." Kendall muttered down the phone. On the other end Logan was suddenly very alert, kicking the two boys sleeping beside him so they too would wake up. Kendall sounded tired, relieved to hear his voice. Logan could almost make out pain in his voice. But, who would hurt Kendall Knight? Kendall was great in his eyes. He was Kendall the Great. He put his phone on loudspeaker as Carlos and James awoke and came closer to the phone.

"Kendall, where are you? Where've you been?" Logan asked, his voice slightly panicked as he noticed Kendall wasn't even called from his phone. From some other number, that he didn't recognize.

"I can't really explain, I don't have enough time. Listen, please, I'm stranded. The team from yesterday jumped me. I'm stranded." The three listened intently as Kendall spoke, not quite believing it. "I need you to pick me up from the payphone on Northside Street, the very top of it." James quickly wrote it down and took out his phone searching for it on his phone.

"Please hurry. Plea..." The phone cut off, and both sides were greeted by a dial tone, while Kendall just sighed and sat down in the payphone curling into himself slightly as he shivered. The three sitting in Logan's bedroom stared at each other. Before, bolting out the house grabbing jackets, scarfs and the all important car keys. Logan didn't even care that if caught they'd get into a lot of trouble. No one cared, they didn't even leave a note for Logan's mom. They all got in the car, and James to read Logan the directions as he drove into the night.

Kendall was tired, his eyes drooped closed as he waited for his friends, he had no idea when, or if they'd turn up. He just wanted to be home. He just wanted to be safe, he didn't want to be cold and wet. Slowly, he began to fall asleep. Despite the pain, despite the shivers that shook his entire body. After what felt like days, Kendall felt a hand shake his shoulder calling his name nervously.

As soon as the car had pulled up in front of the payphone, the three boys had rushed out. Going straight to where Kendall was sitting. They were taken aback by how he looked, cold, wet, tired, hurt. Carlos was the first to react, leaning towards the youngest and shaking his shoulder.

"Ken? Kendall?" He asked nervously, just as the green eyes fluttered open. He looked up at his friends and smiled.

"You guys came?" Half surprised, half relieved. The three nodded, they smiled as Kendall gave them all a smile.

"What happened to you? Are you badly hurt? Hospital?" Logan asked, not sure what to do. He didn't know where to take him, where they should go. The doctor in him wanted to just ignore whatever his friend wanted and just take him to a hospital. Kendall waved him off and held his hand out to Carlos who helped him stand.

"Let's just go home." Kendall muttered as James took his weight off the smaller boy, helping him walk to the still idle car on the side of the road. The snow was still coming down fast, Kendall was still cold and hurt. He still felt inadequate, he knew he'd have to face tomorrow feeling like a failure, but at least with his three friends by his side he knew he'd make it. Because he was home with them. They were his home. Come the next day, no questions would be asked, no one would mention it. Things would go back to like it never happened. Like they hadn't found a cold Kendall alone in the middle of nowhere beaten up. Kendall wouldn't ever mention what happened ever again, because that was what home was.

Home was forgetting the times family members confused you, did things you didn't like. It was about not caring about who they were and just accepting them for who they were. Home was being welcomed even when you've done wrong, home was always there. It didn't necessarily need to have four walls and a roof. Kendall found home in something other than a house, it was in the company of his three best friends. Home is where you can feel safe, he felt safe with his friends. Not that you wouldn't be able to feel safe in a house, but a home is a home. When the rest of the world turned, Kendall and his friends were sure that they'd still be able to find home in the company of one another.

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